


i'm here, i'm real

by bittersblue



Series: IwaOi Week [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:42:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2242857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersblue/pseuds/bittersblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which tooru is a pesky guardian angel who can't stop breaking the rules</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm here, i'm real

**Author's Note:**

> What even is this AU. I don't even know what this AU is. Oikawa's an angel. Sort of. My contribution to day one of IwaOi week. The prompt was childhood but it kinda ended up straying a lot.
> 
> This is so sloppy and unbeta'd I swear I'll get around to fixing it later. I haven't written fic in so long wtf

**i.**  
The first time Hajime meets him is on a sweltering summer afternoon of his fifth grade class field trip. It’s about two in the afternoon when he looks around and realizes that amidst the chaos of the busy intersection they were crossing as a group, he was somehow left behind. Panic grips him and he looks around, trying not to appear too distressed.

 

“Are you lost?”

 

Hajime whirls around at the sound, but he sees no one other than the faceless strangers swarming around him.

 

“You’re looking the wrong way,” the voice calls again, and this time, Hajime feels a small, cold hand wrap around his wrist.

 

He jerks away and whirls around once more, this time finding himself face-to-face with a boy with brown hair, brown eyes, and a mischievous smirk.  

 

“What…” Hajime begins, only to be drowned out by incessant car horns.

 

“You looked lost. Do you need help?” The boy smiles at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

 

“I’m not lost!” Hajime snaps, clutching his backpack tightly. “I’m just waiting to cross the road.”

 

The boy pouts and tilts his head at Hajime. “You know… you’re pretty bad at lying. You look really scared.”

 

“I’m not,” Hajime insists. “Besides, what are you doing here? You shouldn’t be alone either.”

 

The boy shrugs and avoids Hajime’s question. “Do you need help crossing the road? I can hold your hand for you!”

 

Hajime blanks. “Shouldn’t you get back to your family?”

 

The boy shrugs again and reaches forward to grasp Hajime’s wrist, tugging lightly. “Come on, hurry.”

 

Hajime shivers at how cold the boy’s touch is. His skin feels smooth and cold and his touch is light, despite his grip being rather strong. “Wait,” he begins to say, but the boy pays no attention to him and pulls him onto the crossing.

 

“Relax,” the boy says. “Trust me.”

 

He’s not entirely sure why, but there’s something in that voice, something in that tone, that makes Hajime believe him. He relaxes, and lets the boy lead the way. Hajime can feel the cars whip past him. He sees the sun shining off the shiny exteriors of the cars, he can feel the wind as they whoosh past him, but somehow, not touching him.

 

When they reach the other side of the road, Hajime rips his hand out of the other boy’s grip and turns around to face the signal. A red light tells him that they were most certainly not supposed to be crossing the road. The cars whizz by at high speeds, with no sign of stopping.  He turns again and sees the boy standing with his arms crossed.

 

“How…” Hajime begins. “What did you do? Who are you?”

 

“My name’s Tooru.” The boy answers, cryptically.

 

“Wait but—” Hajime splutters. “How did we cross that street? I mean like, there were all these cars but somehow, none of them hit us? What did you do?”

 

“HAJIME-CHAN!”

 

Hajime starts at the sound of his school teacher’s voice. He feels a pair of hands clutch at his face and finds himself staring into the teacher’s face.

 

“There you are,” she exclaims, distress evident in her voice. “I was so worried that we had lost you somehow. Are you okay, are you all right? Oh you look so frightened and pale!”

 

“I’m okay,” he says, slowly. “I’m fine.”

 

“Oh thank god.” His teacher lets go of his face and grabs his hand. “Let’s head back to the group, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Hajime nods, momentarily confused. He looks back behind him, looking for the boy, only to find nothing.

 

**ii.**  
The next time he sees the boy is four years later in a remote beach his family had picked out for their yearly family vacation. It’s a little past sunset and the only lights illuminating the area are the streetlamps way in the back. As always, this year’s vacation had been hectic and eventful and Hajime found himself craving a little bit time on his own. Hajime curls his toes into the wet sand, digging his hands into his pockets, he shivers at the chilly wind. The lukewarm water laps at his bare toes and against his better judgment, he decides to take an impromptu swim. He sheds out of his outer clothing and steps into the water, relishing the warmth. With slow strokes, he starts swimming outwards, relishing the calming effect the view of the night sky has.

 

He’s cautious not to swim too far. He stops after a certain point and floats on his back, tracing out the constellations visible in the sky. It’s all peaceful and tranquil until a scream echoes through the air. Hajime flails in the water in shock, before regaining his balancing. He jerks around, trying to locate the sound, and his eyes fall on a vague figure a small ways ahead thrashing against the water. He acts on instinct and immediately propels himself towards the distressed figure ahead. He pushes himself into the person, grabbing them by the waist.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says, frantically. “I’ve got you.”

 

The person in his arms goes still, but continues to shake.

 

Hajime drags him back to the shore and dumps him onto the sand. The person shakes for another minute before coughing violently. He hauls himself up by the elbows and sits up, clutching at his chest.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Hajime asks, squinting. “What were you even doing out there? You shouldn’t be swimming this late.”

 

“ _You_ were swimming this late,” the person—the boy—responds childishly.

 

Hajime splutters, unable to come up with a proper response. “Are you okay, though?”

 

“I’m fine,” the boy says. “You saved me!” He laughs, throwing his head back. He tilts his head to face Hajime and grins, brightly—far too happy for someone who was drowning ten minutes ago.

 

Hajime examines his face, the familiar eyes and smile, and his mind draws to a blank. “You,” he whispers, his voice a bare whisper.

 

The boy frowns. “Me?”

 

“You.” Hajime repeats, this time louder, firmer, angrier. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the boy says again, scratching his cheek.

 

“Don’t give me that crap,” Hajime stands up. “It was you right? That one time I got lost, it was you.”

 

The boy pauses and gives a contemplating look to the ocean. “You remember that,” he raises his eyebrows. “That’s surprising.”

 

“What,” Hajime says. “Are you doing here?”

 

“Following you?”

 

“For _four years_?”

 

The boy scrambles up to his feet as well and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Hey, do you remember my name?”

 

Hajime twitches at how blatantly he was ignored. And then he considers the question. “…Tooru.” He says after a minute of consideration.

 

The b— _Tooru_ breaks into a wide grin. “Iwa-chan remembers who I am!”

 

“W-what did you just call me?”

 

“Ahh, I’m so happy,” Tooru claps and twirls in his spot, spraying Hajime with stray droplets of water. “I didn’t think you would remember my name y’know.”

 

“Who the hell are you?” Hajime repeats once more.

 

Tooru pauses. “Would you believe me if I told you that I was an angel?”

 

“No.”

 

Tooru laughs. “Blunt at always, Iwa-chan. You’re so mean.”

 

“What kind of idiot would believe you?” Hajime digs his hand into his pocket. “I’m leaving now. You should go to.”

 

“Noooo,” Tooru leaps onto Hajime and clings on his arm, ignoring Hajime’s yelp. “Don’t leave me. I’m really cold. Please stay, Iwa-chan.”

 

Hajime falters. Tooru _is_ shivering violently and he _is_ still soaked to the bone. He’s not carrying anything with him either so the chances of him having a change of clothes nearby is slim. “Okay,” he finds himself saying. “You can come with me.”

 

Tooru steps back immediately, eyes wide. “Really?” Then he leaps on Hajime again, knocking him into the sand. “Iwa-chan is amazing!”

 

“G-get off!” Hajime splutters. “Stop _hanging_ on me.” He gets on his feet and brushes the sand off himself. “Let me find my clothes and we’ll head off.” He finds them in a pile a few feet away and quickly slips into them. The walk back is quiet, aside from Tooru humming a cheerful, happy tune, despite his shivering. Hajime cautiously slips in through the back door, motioning at Tooru to be as quiet as he can. They make it into Hajime’s room without running into anyone. Hajime digs around in his closet and finds a spare set of clothes and throws them at Tooru. He bites back a yelp when Tooru starts stripping in front of him without any warning. Hajime looks away, red in the face.

 

“Is Iwa-chan embarrassed?” Tooru grins, tugging at his new outfit. “We’re the same age but your clothes are so much bigger.”

 

“Be quiet,” Hajime hisses. “If anyone wakes up, I won’t be able to explain to them why you’re here.”

 

“Hmm,” Tooru wanders by his window and fiddles with the curtains. “That won’t be a problem, people usually can’t see me.”

 

“Stop messing with me,” Hajime sits down on the side of his bed, feeling angry. “You owe me a lot of explanations. Who are you?”

 

Tooru shrugs.

 

“Oi,” Hajime snaps, louder than he intended. He clamps his hand over his mouth in shock. “Crap,” he whispers, when he hears a pair of footsteps heading towards his room. “Quick” he beckons at Tooru. “Hide under the bed or something.”

 

But Tooru doesn’t move.

 

“What are you doing, hurry you—”

 

The door to his room swings open, revealing the figure of his little sister, Haruka.

 

“Hajime-nii,” she mumbles, sleepily. “Who are you talking to?”

 

Hajime freezes. He turns towards the door slowly. “Haruka,” he gulps. “I’m just talking to my friend here. Sorry, did I wake you up?”

Haruka frowns. “Yeah, you were being real loud. But... who are you talking to?”

 

Hajime motions at the boy by the curtains. “That’s my friend. He’s just visiting me for today.”

 

Haruka frowns. “Hajime-nii, you’re so weird, talking to yourself like that.”

 

“Haruka…” Hajime begins. “Can you not… see Tooru?”

 

Haruka gives a sleepy yawn. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am. I’m going back to bed. Please be quieter.” And with that she leaves, shutting the door behind her. Hajime stares at the door for a solid minute before turning back to Tooru, his eyes wide in shock.

 

“Told you,” Tooru whispers, and that’s the last thing Hajime remembers before blacking out.

 

The next day he wakes up in his bed, changed into his own clothes. The window in his room is wide open and a pair of sleeping clothes are neatly folded and left on his bed.

 

**iii.**  
A year passes, and he starts his first year of high school. He sees Tooru again on a night illuminated by a thunderstorm. He can hear muffled shouts coming from downstairs, as his parents argue again for the fourth time this week. He locks the door to his room and curls into his bed, drowning out the sounds.

 

Hajime squeezes his eyes shuts and hopes desperately that by some force of nature, he could just be magically transported into some alternate universe where he could be alone. He squeezes his eyes shut and thinks of a meadow, with flowers, and angels—

—Angels.

 

He bolts up in bed and clutches at his sheets. Taking a deep breath, he slips out of his bed and tiptoes to the window. He pulls at the handle and opens it as wide as it goes and sticks his head out. He gulps. “Tooru,” he whispers into the air. A while passes without any response before he tries again. “Tooru,” he says, louder, more insistent. There’s still no response.

 

Feeling stupid, he retreats back into his room and closes the window. He draws the curtains and starts heading back to his bed, only to pause in his tracks.

 

There, sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in a casual white shirt and jeans.

 

“You came.”

 

“Of course,” Tooru smiles, and Hajime can’t help but marvel at how _angelic_ he looks. “I’m always around, y’know. If you need me.”

 

“Tooru,” Hajime whispers. “Tooru, Tooru, Tooru,” Hajime feels his eyes burn and his face feels hot. Embarrassment floods through him, but it doesn’t matter because Tooru takes four wide steps towards him and wraps him into a hug.

 

“Hajime, I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here, it’s fine.” Tooru holds his hand and leads him to the bed and tucks him back in. He wraps Hajime in the blankets and Hajime clutches at his hand, refusing to let go.

 

“Tooru, please don’t let me go. Please don’t l-leave.”

 

“I won’t,” Tooru says, leaning forward and touching their foreheads together. “Close your eyes, Hajime. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

 

Hajime falls asleep, his fingers entwined with Tooru’s.

 

**iv.**  
He sees Tooru again a week later, in his dreams.

 

“Are you actually here or is this a dream?” Hajime asks.

 

“Yes,” Tooru responds with a grin.

 

“Smartass,” Hajime mumbles under his breath. He glances around at their surroundings, noting the detail. They’re in a room that looks like a library. The ceilings are high, three to four times his own height, and they are covered in shelves. The shelves however, are completely barren—there isn’t a single book in sight. They’re sitting on a desk in the center of the room—it’s the only desk and they’re the only people.

 

“So,” Hajime starts, leaning back in his chair. “What’s with the creepy library get-up?”

 

“Do you want something else?” Tooru asks, leaning forward on his elbows. “I can change it to whatever you want.”

 

“Really?” Hajime blinks. “So you can make the shelves pink?”

 

Tooru laughs and snaps his fingers and instantly, pink takes over Hajime’s vision. “Holy shit,” Hajime says. “That’s kinda… cool.”

 

“I can make _you_ pink too!”

 

Hajime grimaces. “Please don’t.”

 

Tooru laughs and rests his chin on his palm, a fond smile gracing his lips.

 

“So, what’s the special occasion? You’ve never really shown up in my dreams before.”

 

“Dunno,” Tooru shrugs. “I thought we could talk for a bit. Maybe play 20 questions or charades.”

 

Hajime raises his eyebrows. “Would you be willing to answer my questions this time?”

 

“Perhaps.” Tooru muses.

 

“You said that you were my guardian angel,” Hajime fiddles with his thumbs. “What did you mean by that?”

 

“Exactly what I said. Everyone gets one, I’m just yours.”

 

“Yeah but,” Hajime motions with his hands. “What do you _do_?”

 

“Hmm, I guess I just make sure you don’t get hurt too badly. I watch over you and if you’re about to do something really stupid—like, more stupid than normal, I’m supposed to step in and stop you.”

 

“If you’re supposed to be the one saving me, why is it that last time, I had to save you?” Hajime grins.

 

“Shut up,” Tooru’s face looks pink. “I was just making sure you didn’t get too far away but… I forgot I couldn’t swim.”

 

“You can’t swim but you followed me into the _ocean_?”

 

“It wasn’t my wisest decision.”

 

“No shit.” Hajime drums his fingers against the desk. “So how come I don’t see you around that often. I mean if you’re supposed to be around me all the time.”

 

Tooru hesitates before turning away from Hajime to look at a particularly interesting shelf. “Angels aren’t actually supposed to show themselves to humans.”

 

“But you are,” Hajime points out.

 

“I’ve always been a bit of a rule breaker.”

 

“What happens if you do? Is there an angel government that keeps track of these things?”

 

Tooru smiles. “Yes, actually. I got in a bit of trouble because of last time. Something about _maintaining the secrecy of your kind_ ,”

 

Hajime frowns. “Are you going to get in trouble because of this?”

 

“Probably.”

 

“What happens if you get in trouble?”

 

“Well the first and second time they give you a warning. After that… I’m not entirely sure.”

 

“You’re lying to me.”

 

“Iwa-chan, you’re too perceptive. I guess they would either kill me or, if they’re feeling particularly merciful, maybe banish me to the human realm of something.”

 

Hajime tenses. “So the real reason you showed up here is…”

 

Tooru grimaces. “I’ll always be around I just… might not be able to see you again. I probably won’t be able to see you again. I thought I would tell you rather than just… disappear.”

 

“That’s… I appreciate that.” Hajime swallows. “How long is this dream going to last?”

 

Tooru shrugs. “Till you wake up, I suppose. It’s getting pretty close.”

 

Hajime hesitates before squaring his shoulders and leaning forward. He grabs Tooru’s hand in his and links their hands together, ignoring the flushed and astonished look Tooru gives him.

 

“What—”

 

“Shut up,” Hajime says, burying his face in his hand. “Don’t say anything.”

 

“Okay.”

 

**v.**  
The next day, Hajime wakes up and whispers Tooru’s name into his pillow.

 

**vi.**  
A month later, Matsukawa pulls up a chair to Hajime’s desk.

 

“What’s up with you?” He asks, raising a single eyebrow.

 

“Nothing,” Hajime shrugs. “It’s fine.”

 

“You’re still a shit liar,” he grumbles. “Can I have some of that?” He asks, grabbing food out of his bento and shoveling it into his mouth. “Thanks, man.” He says, mouth full of half-chewed food.

 

Hajime gives him a disgusted look.

 

“I know you’ve had some troubles with your parents' divorce and stuff but like, you’ve gotta talk about it. Because you’ve been acting off for a while now.”

 

“I’m _fine_ ,” Hajime continues to insist, desperate to change the topic.

 

Matsukawa stares at him for a bit. “Whatever,” he says, stealing more food from Hajime’s bento. “Just letting you know you can talk.”

 

**vii.**  
Three months into his second year of high school, Haruka is admitted to the hospital. Hajime finds himself running from his school to the hospital and he bursts into the waiting room, chest heaving from lack of air. His parents sit on opposite ends of the room, worry etched on their faces.

 

“What happened?” He squeezes out. His parents talk over each other and their words blend together. All he hears is _accident_ , _doctors don’t know_ , and _coma_. He stays in the hospital for as long as he can until his father hauls him up by the arm.

 

“You need to go home, Hajime. You have school tomorrow.”

 

Hajime thrashes in his father’s arm, but to no avail. His father drops him off at home and drives back to the hospital, leaving Hajime in a house that seems far too big for a helpless child. He trudges to the living room and sinks down on the plush carpet.

 

“Tooru,” he gasps out. “Tooru, p-please. Where’s my sister’s angel? Doesn’t she get an angel too? Tooru, I wish—I want—”

 

“Hajime.”

 

Hajime sits up at the voice by his ear. He turns around slowly and finds himself face-to-face with the very boy he was crying to a minute ago.

 

“Tooru…?”

 

Tooru grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him into a hug.

 

“Fuck, no,” Hajime squirms out of his grasp. “Let me go, you shouldn’t be here! Get out! You said you would be punished if you showed yourself again.”

 

Tooru pulls him back. “Hajime, it’s too late, I’ve already shown myself to you again. Just… let me stay here. With you. Let me be here for you.”

 

And Hajime cries. He cries into Tooru’s shoulder, getting tears and snot all over the boy. “Tooru, what’s going to happen to you? What are they going to do to you?”

 

“I don’t know,” Tooru’s voice shakes. “But it doesn’t matter because I’m here right now. I’m here, with you, Hajime.”

 

“Tooru,” Hajime whispers, pushing away and grabbing him by the collar. He leans forward again, touching their foreheads and noses together. “Tooru, Tooru, Tooru.”

 

“Hajime, I’m here.”

 

“Okay,” Hajime tilts his head slightly. “Okay,” he says, softly pressing his lips to Tooru’s.

 

Tooru tenses for a moment before relaxing against Hajime’s touch. He pulls back and whispers his name once more before pushing against his lips once more.

 

They fall asleep, limbs wrapped around each other tightly.

 

**viii.**  
Hajime wakes up alone and empty.

 

**ix.**  
It’s Hajime’s first year at university. He’s rented a tiny apartment a ways off campus with only room for one person. It’s a modest place and he has a small bed and bathroom and a kitchen with the barest necessities. He hangs out with his friends in the afternoon—most of them have decided to live on campus—and returns to his apartment at night and crashes in bed. In the morning, he’s out by eight in the morning. All in all, Iwaizumi Hajime leads a normal and boring life as a business major in an average university in a small town.

 

There’s a bit of snowfall that year and Hajime finds himself arriving home a little later than usual, a little tipsier than usual. He crashes into his couch a little after two in the morning and turns on the TV. The news reports the weather and other happenings around Japan, but there’s nothing that catches his attention.  He’s about to head off to his room to go to bed properly when the sound of the doorbell echoes through his apartment.

 

Hajime frowns and glances at the clock that reads 3:00AM in bright red letters. He takes a look through peephole only to see a vague figure, dressed in a black hooded coat. Hajime pauses. Logic and common sense warn him not to open the door—there’s nothing about this situation that bodes well. But his gut takes control, making him open the door slowly.

 

“Hello,” he says.

 

The figure looks startled for a moment before reaching up and slipping their hood off. “It’s been a while, Iwa-chan.”

 

Hajime stares blankly, not moving a muscle.

 

“Can you let me in? It’s really cold in the hallway.”

 

Hajime steps aside silently, letting the person in.

 

“Tooru,” he manages to say out loud. “What… How on… _What_?”

 

Tooru skips—fucking _skips_ —into his kitchen and opens the refrigerator. “Do you have any food? I’m starving.”

 

“How are you _here_?”

 

Tooru shuts the refrigerator and takes a few steps till he’s less than a foot away from Hajime. “I’ve grown taller than you!” Tooru rests a hand on his head. “But you’ve grown a lot too.” His hands slides down to cup his cheek. “Hajime,” he whispers. “Can I kiss you?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Tooru leans in and presses his lips against Hajime’s. “They banished me,” he whispers against Hajime’s mouth. “They banished me to the human realm.”

 

“Are you _here_?”

 

Tooru laughs into his mouth. “I’m here,” he says. “I’m real.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have a [tumblr](http://antioikawa.tumblr.com) come cry with me


End file.
